TAXI
by YonderB
Summary: AU. Oneshot. They needed a taxi, and they found it! Yuffie, Tifa, Leon, Cloud. No pairing. Just... random stuff. Purely for enjoyment.


"We're lost."

"No, we aren't."

"Yes we are. Lost. _Looooost_."

"_Quiet!_ We're not--"

"_LOOOOST._"

It was exactly three-twelve in the morning on a Monday, and Tifa and Yuffie were roaming around the dark, empty streets, brown eyes looking everywhere-- for _anything_. Street-signs; friendly-looking apartments; unlocked cars; _anything!_ They needed to get _home!_

But, apparently, the neighbourhood they'd inadvertently become lost in after a late-night-reunion-turned-shopping-trip was as unhelpful as it was dull.

Tifa sighed. She was a shapely young woman to put it lightly, her dark hair falling about her shoulders, her brown eyes lively. She wanted to go home. Yuffie was beside her- A troublemaker, to be sure, but a nice girl. They'd met at school, and become friends. The shorter girl had cut her dark hair since then- it fell about her ears nicely, and her dark eyes were always wide with curiosity.

Except right now.

Yuffie was miffed and tired right now.

"WE'RE LOOOOST!" moaned Yuffie aloud. She'd been carrying these bags of clothing for hours! She wanted to go home! Have a bath! Play music so loud the whole apartment-complex complains!

"I'm sure if we just keep looking--" began Tifa. Yes, they'd been roaming around this lifeless neighbour hood for at least two hours. Yes, they were both idiots for leaving their phones to run down and become useless. And _yes_, they were tired and cranky.

"We'll _still_ be lost!" snapped Yuffie. Why was she the one carrying the most bags, anyway? The streets were dead. No one was here. No unlocked cars. No taxis. No phone boots that took notes.

... waitaminute--

"What's that?" blinked the short-haired girl.

Both women looked down the street to see a car with the internal lights on. It's back-end was facing them, but the two of them could quite plainly see at least one person moving on the inside. Tifa squinted at the roof of the car, and the four letters _t a x i_ glinted at her.

"_Finally!_" cried Yuffie, tearing down the street toward the car, Tifa barely keeping up with the girl, even if she wasn't carrying anything. Skidding to a halt beside the vehicle, the taller woman pulled open the back passanger door and poked her head in.

"Excuse me?" she blurted.

A blink.

Tifa stared at the sight that greeted her from the inside of the taxi.

Sitting on he driver's seat was a _very_ handsome blonde man –around her age. But, it wasn't like she looked for that specifically–, his golden hair styled into spikes that pointed in every direction and fell into his unimaginably-bright blue eyes. He sat there, slightly turned around, looking at Tifa over his shoulder, eyebrows raised in mild surprise and curiosity, a drink from a take-away place in hand, the straw in between his lips, the dark liquid frozen half-way up the see-through plastic straw.

Sitting shotgun was an equally handsome brown-haired man –again, around Tifa's age. How lucky she was!–, his hair cut to shoulder-length and falling into his eyes in a jagged flattering fringe, his arm hooked over the back of his seat, turned facing the blonde driver, but able to see Tifa and Yuffie too. His grey-blue eyes were looking at the two girls, his features marred by a single long scar that spanned over the bridge of his nose. His hands were held out a little, his mouth was half-open, and he made no real move to close it.

He had been half-way through talking when Tifa opened the door, it seemed.

"Uh... Hi," Tifa finally said after an impatient prod in the ribs from Yuffie. "Is this taxi open for business?" she asked. "We need to get somewhere." A quick motion toward the girl at her side who was placing her bags down and rubbing at her hands. The two guys looked nice enough.

The brown-haired male and the blonde shared a look. The blonde then just twitched his shoulders in a minute shrug, turning back to the steering wheel, swallowing a mouthful of the drink in his hand while the brunette looked back at the two girls.

"Sure. Hop in," said the brown-haired male gently. He seemed like a complicated young man, but he seemed to know of the two girl's predicament, and motioned them in with a twitch of his hand.

"Much obliged!" squawked Yuffie immediately, diving past Tifa and onto the back seat, dragging the bags behind her and shoving them all roughly into the wells behind the front seats. Tifa followed a little less energetically, and closed the door behind her.

"So, where to, ladies?" asked the brown-haired male in the front seat politely, shifting a little in his seat to look at them better.

"You want to stay with me for the night?" Tifa offered her female friend quickly, her eyes glancing up at the rear-view mirror to see a reflection of two impossibly blue eyes staring back at her impassively.

"Yeah, might as well," returned Yuffie, patting her thighs in a happy beat and eying the dark street through her window. "There's not much of a 'night' left, thou--"

"Could you please take us to the Seventh Heaven bar?" asked the large-breasted female at the two males in the front seats hopefully, her brown eyes flickering between the rear-view mirror and the brown-haired male who was actually facing her.

Said brown-haired male turned his head to look the blonde beside him and he rose his eyebrows at his friend. With a low, dissatisfied noise, the blonde man in the driver's seat placed his drink into the cup-holder beside him and sent one last look through his rear-view mirror at Tifa, before turning the key in the ignition.

The taxi rumbled to life and was driven down the street, a semi-uncomfortable silence floating around the car, noticed most of all by Tifa, who shifted uncomfortably in her place.

After around ten minutes of driving, the blonde finally spoke.

"You were saying?"

A deep, breathy voice. A complicated man, again. Quiet.

"Hm?" returned his brown-haired friend in shotgun.

"What happened with Axel?"

"Oh." The brown-haired man smirked. "Well, he woke up after a while, as I said, and rolled over. In the hammock." He plucked the drink the blonde had been drinking from the cup-holder and sipped it. "It's a bit of a miracle that he didn't wake up while Roxas and Sora were _nailing_ the hammock above the bath- not to mention hefting him up there."

"Ice-cold?"

"Oh, yeah. Didn't think the kids would go easy on him, did you?" A chuckle from the blonde as he navigated through the empty, dark streets. "Ice-cold, and he was naked. The poor bastard fell in there, and the twins even set up a video camera." The drink was placed back into the holder. "He got the fright of his life, and was convinced he'd turned into a woman for the next four hours."

A loud, undignified snort from Yuffie made the brunette in the front seat glance back at her.

"Sorry," he said with a quick nod of his head. "What might be your names, ladies?"

"Yuffie," grinned the short-haired female proudly, thumping herself on the chest. "The _great ninja_, Yuffie! And this is Tifa," she said, thumping the other female on the shoulder heartily. Tifa rose a hand in greeting and smiled.

The brown-haired male in shotgun bowed his head politely at the two ladies. "Leon," he said. "Nice to meet you, and, this sack of self-serving stupidity is Cloud," Leon smirked, motioning a hand at the blonde driver. Cloud uncurled a couple of his fingers from the wheel in a silent greeting before curling them back around the smooth leather without looking away from the road.

"Hi!" chirped Yuffie cheerily, Tifa nodding quickly at the rear-view mirror, getting a quick glance from bright blue eyes.

The next few minutes of silence were less uncomfortable, and the next person who spoke was actually Cloud.

"What's the name of the green things they make there?"

The other three people looked at him curiously.

"Pardon?" asked Tifa, shifting forward a little on her seat. His voice was quiet. She could barely hear him.

"The green things at Seventh Heaven. Green with a star floating in them," explained the blonde, eyes staring out of the car as he drove through the steadily lightening streets.

"Potions," grinned the large-breasted women. "You like them?"

"Not really," shrugged Cloud.

"He doesn't like _anything_," explained Leon with a charming smile at Tifa, making her blush and Yuffie snigger into her fist.

"Sure I do," grunted the driver irritably. "I just don't tell you about them."

"Or I don't _want_ to know about your nightly endeavours with travelling men," returned Leon smugly. In the back seat, Yuffie let out a low 'Ooh, _burned!_' and Tifa's eyes widened and she bit back a grin.

A hand was lifted off the steering wheel and, without looking away from the road, Cloud let his hand flick to the side, and drop. Neither female in the back could see what he did, but could guess pretty easily, because Leon jumped, let out a strangled squawk, and his arm flew out, whacking his hand against his door all at the same time.

Hand returning to the wheel as though it was nothing, Cloud continued driving, but, his smugness was palpable.

"Jerk," hissed Leon.

"Bitch," returned Cloud mildly.

In the back, both women were sniggering to themselves, hands plastered over their mouths to muffle their sounds of complete and utter amusement.

A few minutes later, the car pulled up to a familiar bar and both Yuffie and Tifa let out sighs of contentment. Back home! Pulling out her wallet of notes, Tifa watched Yuffie wrench all of their bags out of the wells behind the front seats and stagger into the bar.

"So, how much do I owe you?" smiled Tifa, looking at the two males.

"Oh, it's free," said Leon, turning around to face her- albeit stiffly.

"_Free?_" blinked the large-bosomed woman.

The brown-haired male nodded in return. "Yeah."

"Why?" Another blink.

"Because we don't need the money," breathed Cloud, turning around and looking at her, picking up his drink from the holder once more. "And, we only did this out of the kindness of Squall's heart." He sipped his drink and shrugged, continuing; to himself, really. "My heart is a shrivelled up, dusty thing somewhere in the attic. I don't do shit like this unless he forces me."

Tifa blinked again. And again. "But..."

"We stole the taxi."

Her eyes snap to Leon, who had his chin in his hand, and was watching her with a charming smile, eyebrows raised. "We don't need the cash."

A hand appeared in front Tifa and the women blinked at the blonde attached to it. She seemed to be blinking far too much right now...

"If you're adamant on paying me, go ahead," shrugged Cloud, sipping on his drink and keeping his hand in front of her. "I don't mind some extra cash. That'll be... Ooh, let's see... You wasted half an hour of my life, so... Carry the four... One hundred and--"

His hand was harshly slapped away by Leon, and the male sitting in shotgun just leant over and opened Tifa's door for her, waving her off.

"Vamoose," smirked Leon, nudging Tifa's shoulder with the back of his hand. "Scram. The cops will be after us soon enough."

With another blink, Tifa took a moment, and she broke into a smile. Whatever. What the fuck ever. With a quiet laugh, the large-bosomed woman stepped out of the car and closed the door, her smile widening at the wave he got from Leon and glance from Cloud, before the taxi started up again and disappeared down the road.

Placing a hand to her forehead, Tifa laughed, walking into her bar. Aerith would never believe her in the morning.

((END. Well, this is inspired by a passing comment my sister made years and years ago, and I wrote it in just a day. Which is rather fast for me. I needed to climb back out of my writing-block, so, I thought I'd churn this out. Enjoy!))


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